Posted 2 months ago

One of my biggest regrets in life will be not having a video of my mother holding two mojitos in her hands, alternating taking sips to determine which was better, then clutching one defensively to her chest when I reached to get my drink back.

I think my new strategy for dealing with being home will consist of bringing the ingredients for mojitos from scratch, then getting my mother drunk.

Posted 5 months ago

Dorm Room Whiskey Sour

Ingredients:

-100 mL Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey you purchase by accident not realizing it’s cinnamon

-100 mL lemon juice purchased at the counter of a liquor store in a lemon shaped bottle

-30ish mL simple syrup, made in the microwave with sugar packets

-Some grapefruit juice you squeeze out of a fruit cup

Directions:

Make sure you’ve had at least 3 drinks before attempting. Mix all ingredients in the only clean mug you can find. Pour precariously over a sink into a discrete container (such as a sprite bottle), losing at least 10% of the drink in the process. Refrigerate till needed and question your life choices.

Posted 7 months ago

I wanna live beneath the dirt

Where I’d be free from push and shove

Like all those swarming up above

"Dirt" - Phish

Posted 7 months ago

iwilleatyourenglish:

bisexual invisibility isn’t new. you see, we’ve always had the power.

every unsolved high stakes art robbery? bisexuals.

crop circles? bisexuals with mowers.

poltergeists? nope just rowdy bisexuals

Roanoke colony? bisexuals probably.

Posted 7 months ago

My life is a perpetual midlife crisis and I’m only 20

Posted 7 months ago

My suite’s common room is still like a bad reality tv show, and sometimes I am the person who accidentally stumbles into frame when minding their own business and gets unwillingly dragged into the drunken upheaval that involves affairs and pregnant girlfriends and “friend zones” and tears and too much bad booze and cigarettes. 

Why hasn’t a film crew set up camp in my room yet.

Posted 8 months ago
Posted 9 months ago

ballpointpencil:

msprudence:

I’m beginning to believe the common room in my suite is the stage for a bad reality tv show.

THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE WHEN I GOT BACK

You have no idea how much drama has been going on in this suite it is ridiculous hence why I am hiding in my room till forever

Posted 9 months ago

I’m beginning to believe the common room in my suite is the stage for a bad reality tv show.

Posted 9 months ago
Hey so I haven’t posted here in a while so here’s what my life is life right now I guess

Hey so I haven’t posted here in a while so here’s what my life is life right now I guess